Monday, January 21, 2013

Destructive Attitude Fat Girls Enemy

This week has not been going well.  I had some hard days at work, slacked off on my exercise goals, and raided the snack drawer.

I had been doing well since the beginning of January than I hit a plateau, I became discouraged and started returning to my bad habits.  Then I started to feel like a failure and started to think I was  just destined to be a fat girl.  I started to give up. Why bother? I have tried so many times in the past and nothing ever changes. Each time I say it will be different. I will stick to my goals, I will achieve the body I want, I will be healthy and feel better.

Then the self destructive attitude comes in. I slip and eat something not on my list. Damn you Jack In the Box Angus Bacon Cheese burger!!!! Damn you to hell!!  (In my defense I did have it with water and without the bacon, way to be healthy!! she said sarcastically) I started to spiral back into my old bad habits and self destructive behavior.

Today I was really feeling down when I went for a walk with my wonderful husband. He was walking behind me and mentioned how amazing I look and how proud he is of me.  We ended up having a great talk, he was not going to let me give up, we both were going to get back on that horse and get back on track together.

It is so wonderful to have a great support team behind me. I have to realize that I will have bad days, I will have days that I feel like a failure, I will have days that everything feels useless. But I need to stop beating myself up for it and turning to food to try and make me feel better.

Today hubby and I went for a nice long walk, had a nice long talk, and talked about things we are going to do to keep eating healthy and to get healthy.  It is amazing what getting out of the house, into the sun and fresh air can do for you.

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